If you've watched this run of Top Chef, then you must be in absolute agreement with the rest of mankind... Sarah Hindenburg is: not easy on the eyes, very hard to stomach, obese - sweaty - disgusting - very round - in need of serious dental work - loud - obnoxious - fat (did I mention that already?) - cruel - and fat. I bet she sniffs her own farts & "wipes and looks". I guarantee she hasn't washed between her toes (or the middle of her pimple ridden back) in decades because there's no way she can reach them. I suppose she loves bacon, potato chips and a lot of butter. She is a degrading cow. When I see her fat, round, oily face with it's round greasy mouth and Leon Spinks tooth gap, I want to shoot a hole in my TV. She doesn't have the balls to make comments to anyone's face (alright, she most likely does have balls. A big wrinkly stale tired limping set similar to a dead sun tanned stretched elephant cheek filled with rock salt). I'd like to see little Beverly knock her stupid square teeth down her overly exercised throat. You are a sad piece of greasy old lard Sarah and I hope your clogging arteries rob your struggling heart of life. You could be Miss Piggy's fat old aunt, but I'm sure Miss Piggy would deny it. She's got far more class & elegance than you'll ever have and she's nothing but pieces of plastic and fabric with a hand up her ass.
You are a disgusting fat ugly pig with a big horrifying mouth attached to it.
If you have a husband, wife or whatever, I'm willing to bet they are utterly horrified and embarrassed by your existence. You embarrass me and I have no friggen clue who or what you are. Everybody on the show hates you as well and I hope you cry yourself to sleep every night for the rest of your wasted life. You are a fat pig and you make millions of people sick.
UPDATE: All I can say is "THANK GOD!"... I have a tendency to stumble across things such as TV shows that infuriate me so thoroughly that I can't change the channel. Case in point: MTVs Battle of the Exes (or something similar). I stopped on an episode the other day while blindly searching for something to bide my down time, and Holy Shit!!! I have never seen more pathetic displays of idiocy, self-absorbance and drunken belligerence that brought about subliminal daydream images of heads on posts a la Cambodia to calm my nerves. Mmmmm, those botox-free swollen lips and Doc Hollywood-free high-tight-cheekbones... Far more appealing an image than Marisa (or whatever her name is / was) completely hammered flipping out on her boyfriend and jumping in the pool fully clad in her Marshalls heels & Hot Topic top. Those 10 minutes I have lost forever. I could have been smashing my fingertips in the door or carving out my own anus instead without regretting it so much in the end. I'm losing myself here.... My point was supposed to be (somehow), that regardless of how good or lousy these Reality shows are, there's always someone to root for. The "least worst" perhaps. Like lethal injection as opposed to hanging or Pumpernickel over Rye. The sad fact is, no matter how badly someone deserves to win, no matter how far they exceeded their expectations, no matter how perfectly they fit the bill, some other piece of shit wins, and I find myself forever saying "WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I WILL NEVER WATCH THIS SHIT AGAIN!!!!" but then I do and the same shit happens again and again.
Well folks, this time I went to bed with a calmer head and slept well because that fat, frustrating pig LOST. Thank you thank you thank you judges! Did you see the little stat "Which Top Chef Have You Voted For"? With Paul @ 88% and POS @ 12% I felt almost ensured of her victory.
At any rate, thanks to DVR I could watch that filthy cow cry over and over as I felt better and better hearing her mumble in that mousy pathetic squeal of hers "I thought for a second that I had won... but I didn't" HA HA HA HA HAAAAA..... HA HA HAAAA..... A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all for the thoughtful, warm & insightful comments! Keep them coming!!! I assume many bottom-rung, foolish, egotistical TV personalities will spend some time scouring the web for praise & self gratification to balloon their over inflated melons, and I try to tag these posts so people will find them without trying too hard. So, Sarah, if you've found this little op-ed: I hope you're Mom isn't too sad you lost, she probably expected it. 9 out of 10 people wanted you to lose (and probably die) and you did. You lost again. You lost Top Chef like you lost in the gene game. You are fat, stupid and ugly and nobody likes you. Cleanse your colon, brush your teeth and eat some lettuce you cow. You made me so happy when you cried as your dreams were crushed and I thank you for that. I truly hope I never ever ever see your pig-face again. Now kick rocks bitch!
aaahhhhhhhh.... what a great way to start the day!!!
Cheerio everybody!
WOW! Can you say DISDAIN? I'm not a huge fan of Sarah, but she is in the final, and her looks and size really has nothing to do why I dislike her. The show has made her look like a bully, and hence the reason why I am not a fan. I will add, that the only reason why she made it to the final four is simply because she is the executive chef for top chef master Tony Mantuano of Spiaggia. And if the TOP CHEF crew eliminated her, well there would be drama. I bet he paid them off to make sure she was there.
ReplyDeleteHer looks & size had everything to do with my disliking her. As shallow as that is, that comes with reality TV and is the producers top priority is to plug people that will inspire love or aggression. When she started picking on little Beverly (who truly should have been a finalist), all I could see was a bull in a cow pasture. It's become obvious that these shows wheedle the finalists down to one deserving person, one totally undeserving person and one or two more that will really piss people off. Rarely so I see two people that I equally want to win. Never actually. Thanks for your comments!
DeleteReality television is the sickest form of entertainment we have--it's also insulting to our intelligence. I love your subtle reference to the Hindenberg--the 'blimp' that sorely insulted our intelligence when it exploded over New Jersey as they used hydrogen instead of helium. I came to your site looking for a shared disgust of Angie Hicks. I know I'm sick, but I wouldn't act on it.
DeleteLOL. That was hilarious Doil! I completely agree. That fat, obnoxious gutter-trash pisses me off to no end. Hope Waste Management dispose of her soon!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha bitch is SOOOO fat and ugly. And the gap in her teeth isn't even the worst part of her mouth, it's her 4" of top gums that really make me want to throw up. All she does is pant, wheeze and sweat 24 hours / day. The only reason she is in the final is because people that made WAY better food than anything she has ever cooked or eaten screwed up trying to push the envelope while all she did was turn out cafeteria food full of her own sweat and drippings. I wish she would have died of heat exhaustion during that one episode.
ReplyDeleteI love you doil.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much for this article! I despise Sarah and all of her demon spawn (heather, lindsay) They all are complete pieces of shit and I dont think i will ever watch top chef again because of sarahs existence.
ReplyDelete